Prisoner of TV

How many of you walk straight to the television upon entering the house from work, and turn it on just as a form of having a little noise in the house? I know you do it. And I know some of you (you know who you are) who leave the TV on all the time, you know, so the pets don't get "lonely". Well, sadly enough, I do it too. I don't leave it on for the pets, though, just for the record.
    Lately I tend to notice things from a new perspective and now the world seems just slightly different. When I think of all the things Alice is taking in, the sights, the smells, the sounds, I think Holy Crap! I can't imagine all the new information she has to process. Sounds from her musical chairs, her jangly rattly toys, and the crazy energy filled television are echoing from all directions, stimulating every little nerve in her little tiny floppy ears. The colors on the TV screen, changing second by second, weird new faces talking at her, the silent but very present buzz of the frequency of media coming from all directions, how overwhelming....how....addicting!!! It's not until I turn the thing off, that I realize, this television has had me in shackles since I was a baby!!!! It's like a drug pusher saying, "aw, come on...one more segment won't hurt, everyone's doing it! Look at what's coming on next...don't you want to see how much weight this guy lost? You know you can't miss how OCD ruined her life! And just wait -- coming on next is yet another episode of Family Guy! This stuff is harmless! Have some more!" 
     So then, with the remote in my hand, still smokin', silence in the air, I have room to think. It's like the chains have gone, and I can move. I think about things that I could be doing that are more fun, more productive, and tons more educational for my child, like reading a book, cutting the grass, changing the light bulb in my closet that's been out for months, taking a walk, scrubbing the tub. It's almost like that damned power button on that little tool we call a remote control is the key to solving all of my problems. 
     It even crosses my mind sometimes to get rid of it all together. But then, my palms start to get a little sweaty, and I head back into the living room to turn the thing back on, because surely there's something I need to know going on in the News, right? Maybe if I watch how bad the oil spill is today, I feel less guilty about the fact that I'm not out there trying to do something about it. 
     Hello, my name is Ashley. And I'm a TV addict, working towards freedom, day by day. 

May 9, 2010 Mother's Day.

I've had the same morning routine for years. Wake up. Make coffee. Shower. Sit in my red room known as the office with hot mug in hand, "check" my Facebook and my Yahoo mail, and then, time permitted, play some mindless online game for 20 minutes before heading off to work. Some people have Yoga. Some go jogging. Some read the paper. This is what I do. And it's my time. My time.

     The past five months have been a blur, needless to say. However, with some arranging and finagling, I have managed to still honor this tradition on most days. This morning, I still had my time (without any game, however) but it was a little different. Alice awoke at 6am sharp. As did I. Made the coffee. Check. But this time, I had my hot mug in one hand and my beautiful baby in the other, and we sat on the blanket and read the literary masterpieces of Clip Clop and Splash! and then proceeded to play with Froggie, Lamb and Caterpillar for the next hour. Screams of delight and gummy smiles filled our little living room and it was a nice change of pace from my old daily ritual. For the first time I really felt Mother's Day.

     This is not to say that I never appreciated Mother's Day. Let me say that I have been preceded by quite a few phenomenal women in my life who really helped me understand what being a mother means. I have been so fortunate to have a fantastic mom who has been more than willing to give me what I've needed throughout the years to become what I am today. She has taught me how to be polite to strangers, how to set the table (correctly), how to balance my checkbook, how to dress myself (well, she tried, anyway), how to keep the peace, how to shave my armpits...she has been my confidant, my go-to person, my friend, my teacher, my math homework tutor, my discipliner, my financier, my soft place to fall. If ever I didn't understand the love my mom has for me, I do now. Naming all the things she has done does not even come close to describing how special she is, just being her. My mom.
     And I can't let this go without mentioning the love and appreciation I still have for my dear grandmother, Me-me. I miss her dearly as I know we all do. Without her, where would any of us be, anyway. This is a tribute to my Mom, Me-me, Ma-Mick and all the mother figures in my life, I have so much love for you all!






H A P P Y    M O T H E R 'S    DAY  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What I want to be when I grow up:

Do you remember the good old classic movie Funny Farm? With Chevy Chase? God, I love that movie. Mostly because Chevy Chase is my hero, but also because in the film, he is trying to write a novel. Was it a children's book? I can't remember. But his wife in the movie actually does write a children's book, and I thought that was the coolest profession in the world! Still do, actually. My choice of professions through the years have all seemed to have something to do with either art or children. Now, I am spending my days working with books and art and children at the Richland County Public Library's Children's Room, and reading gajillions of children's books to Alice, and I'm thinking....I can do this. I really can.

       Over the past year working in the Library field, I have met three very brilliant and distinctive and accomplished childrens writers; Lowis Lowry, Jack Gantos and Jane Yolen. They all had me spellbound with each of their speeches, discussing their eventful pasts, comical or not so much. What gets me worried is that I haven't enough crazy experiences to write an award winning book. My childhood was well...well... it was normal. Didn't travel much. Didn't break any bones (well, there was the one time...), didn't have any traumatic experiences, unless you count gettin' popped on the butt every now and then. I guess it helps to know that Jack Gantos actually had to go out and buy a cat for inspiration for his award winning Rotten Ralph series. Well, surely Alice, my two cats and Charlie will be enough fodder for the first book, anyway. Or maybe I need to take a vacation-for-one to a remote area in the desert and become "one" with myself. I'd come back with an interesting story then, I bet.
      Perhaps I need to move to the countryside into a house with a window in the attic and a typewriter, like Chevy Chase did. Yeah, that seems more my speed. What do you think about that, Matt?
      Well one day. One day. Yep, One day.....